my people my home - a must read entry

dear friends,

Sometimes, i wonder what people spend their whole life for. A few months ago, i touched down
in chiang rai for a project. a project that would benefit those kids there. these kids are either parrentless or they do have a parrent but their parrent end up in jail so heres a home where their child stays. a home that unite them with strangers, a home that serve their education needs, a home that could shower the LOVE they are missing and most importantly a home where they could chase their dreams; their half shattered childhood dreams. i was talking to this 16 year old boy and he told me one day he'll be a thai boxer. a famous one indeed. they dream BIG and dey work real hard. unlike people like us here.

this trip was an eye opener and it definately had change they way of our life. eating every bit of rice and finishing evrything served on the plate had suddenly become a way of my life. whenever a friend didnt finished their food i will be the zakii who goes with the famous quote ' ppl in thailand have no food'. and so far it helps. sometime dey will play around with this quotes. but how long can the effect of trips, camps, stays like this last? a few days? months? years? i dont think so.

when i was young, all i wanted to be was a smartly dressed pilot in his uniforms flying evry inch of the globe. on my 14th birthday, i wished for so many thinngs like .... haha. but not all come true.

since then, i THINK i've been looking for something or someone whom i dont know. is it a feeling, a person or an achievement? it does not make sense, but when youre standing at the middle of the pavement outside a shopping mall and even though you got places to go and people to meet, all you want to do is just seat down in the bench outside paragon where the ice cream man is, and watch the world go by. the people and their thing. and thats when you know you're looking. and its pretty scary when you've got no idea of what youre looking for. and you start to doubt its existance and what IF you never find it? or maybe you had it but lose it somehow, and you dont know what it is. i've lost so many things in my life but which one?

i've been taught to live my life the way most people do. study, get a job, get married, have kids and all that jazz. somehow, it feels save going down this route, but it makes me wonder if people really want to do that. or do they go through this routine of life because they think they S.H.O.U.L.D ? i should get married eventually, i should have some kids cause a family wont be complete without one. what is a family without kids? romance. s.h.o.u.l.d is a bad 6 letter word. really.

helllo i'm zaki



yes. i know. i'm the zaki with the number 3



okay. i know i soundd quite emotional in this entry. haha. not the usual me. this emo mood was due to talking with fifa and jiayu fer 2 hours or so on the fone. about all thosse 6 months ago stuff.haha. well., write your thoughts.

so long, good night world.

yours sincerely.
zaki with the number 3
why 3?