this entry is for the broken hearted
september 1982.
The days of army camp were over but the search for Julia wasnt. Infact what they say is true. Every life has its one true love snapshot. For nicholas, it came on a bright September afternoon right in the middle of the learning terrace at the headquaters. She wore a green chamo with a green barrette in her bunned hair. Nicholas eyes was stuck right there, just there. He didnt look elsewhere. His attention was on her although he was sitting in an awkward manner with his back straight. So straight that it led beads of pespiration rolling down his back. Alike every boy, he wish he could flirt. However, he was in the headquaters and all eyes were on him and his platoon. He was in the Artilery Force platoon. The most feared platoon in the camp with 16 awards to their name. It came that moment, when she walked pass him. He noticed her name tag- J-U-L-I-A. Without hesistation, he whispered " hey thats Julia. I have a pet hamster at home called DULIA," thinking that it would be funny. She thought that he was anoying without even taking a second glance at him.
It didnt matter to him because that was his snapshot.Until now, whenever he thought of Julia he would recall whispering to her about his so called pet 'DULIA' and would feel the same arterial burst of love. Every night he would call his bestfriend, Danny. That night was no exception. He told Danny that he had met the girl that thought he is going to be with for god knows how long. Danny thought it was funny and kept laughing through the night.
Days later, the search began. After much effort, he finally found Julia. However, Julia remembered little about the 1st September 1982 incident. Julia was clueless about who he was although he explained how he saw her and every single detail that he could remember. Days passed and he sensed that something was about to happened. She was oblivious to how he felt as they carried out their daily conversation. She did not detect his slightest affection. At that time, she had a crush on Kenny, a boy that works next to her office.
No story sits by itself. Some stories meet at corners and others, like stones beneath the river, completely overlap each other. He was shocked when he knew that the girl that he had known when he was 27 was actually Julia friend. Infact, she was one of Julia's bestfriend. It was not a issue for Nicholas to know Julia's friend. In this case, it was a problem as his earlier encounter with Julia bestfriend, Lisa, was a horrible one. It ended with him breaking her heart and cheating on her. It was diasterous. Nicholas was at a lostto what to do, but he kept quiet anyway.
Love was indeed blooming at that time. Nicholas and Julia silently knew. It all began with name calling and them relating about their lovely past. As days passed, Nicholas' pressence and importance grew in Julia's life. She was aware of that very fact. They conversed daily at eleven with ceaseless things to say. .
With only two months of acquintance, how could they possibly talk so much?however, They found immense joy in each other's company. She told her bestfriends everything that both of them did. Likewise, he did so too. None of them were aware of their smilarities. Everwhere he went, he thought about her. Everything he said, reminded him of her and every song he sang, seemed to harbour a hidden meaning.
It was December when he mustered enough courage to asked her out. His tongue felt as if it was stucked to his teeth. His gave the reason that they had known each other for more than two months, thus, it was about time they met up. She agreed, replying with a " errmmmmm YARH". His toes turned cold at very the thought of their meeting.
They to met at the terminal to avoid a crowd. That very day, he woke up very early and started cutting his nails, shaving his facial hair and brushing his teeth. He needed to appear presentable and wanted to leave a lasting impression. He wanted it to be perfect. He wore his pullover and left his house. On the way to the railway station, he saw Rachel, He used to be head over heels crazy about her. He thought to himself. Perhaps it was a sign. Maybe it was a sign indicating the end of the rachel days and the begining of somethign new .
On the train, he knew he was going to be late. 'What a way to begin a relationship' he thought to himself. She was already waiting for him at the terminal. It was 2.45 and they had agreed had to meet at 2.20. Once he reach the terminal, his eyes scaned the area, searching for Julia. Finally, his eys rest upon a lady standing at the corner of the terminal clad in a pink shirt, holding a dark green jacket . She was busy texting, attempting to preoccupy herself with something to distract her nerves. He went up to her and greeted her. Silence followed after she returned his greeting. A comfortable silence. There are times when one can distinguish a soothing or awkward silence. Both of them ease their nerves in that comfort and basked in the sheer proximity of their company.
They then headed to the escalator. On the way up, he looked at her and the next thing they know, both of them burst into laughter. While walking, he had noticed that they walk so close to each other that only a tiny space seperates both of their shoulders. It never seems akward. Soon, the silence was broken with jokes, laughter, stories and voices. Voices that blends into music in his head.
They soon dined in an Italian restraunt. She ordered Fish n Chip while he ordered Lamb Chop. Two people with different taste. Their taste never seems to be the same. Even up till today. They talk and make fun of each other. They talk about almost anything that you could think of. Yes, almost anything. If theres a passer by walking passed, they sure thought that they were couple. Happy young couple enjoying themselves.
Everything that begins had to end, just like thier outing. It had to end. He send her to the bus terminal. How lovely. However, he never does it now. He always take it easy thinking that it would just fine. On his way home, he was smiling. He was dead happy. he just kept smiling. Not even a single thing can dampned his mood. He felt like calling Danny straight away to tell him what had happened.
Weeks later, the holidays ended. Just as they thought that all good things had to come to an end. They was wrong. So wrong. They still kept in touch with each other though they are seperated by distance. It takes a fourty-five minutes bus journey for him to meet her. It didnt seems like it was going to end. Infact, it seems like its getting stronger. Every day that passed is like more glue added to both sides of paper that sticks with each other.
It was a tuesday that he realised that he's inlove with Julia. He never felt these feeling for so long. He never thought he would. Infact if even if he ever did, it wasnt this strong. This was by far the strongest. He had told alomost every single one of his friend about this feeling. Everyone in his office knows that he's in love with Julia but they were cluless on who Julia really was. However, one thing for sure, they know that Julia is a sweet lady. Most of his friend told him that its high time that he told Julia about it though he didnt thought so.
However he was unsure if she has the exact same feeling. He's afraid that their 5 months friendship might be broken because of the fact that he told her that he loves her. That was his fear. They always say that every brave soldier have an inner fear. At that point of time, that was the inner fear that Nicholas is most afraid of ;losing Julia.
On the other side of the story, Nicholas wasnt aware that Julia did have a feeling for him. Julia friend's too, know many things about Nicholas though they didnt saw him before. It was a thurday evening that Nicholas decided to go for a walk to remember with Julia. Julia friend, Trisha had told her maybe he would tell her his feeling on that day and maybe he would ask her for .........( i try not to use that word because its disgusting). She hoped that didnt happened/ It all started out good. Nicholas ordered Fish burger at Uncle Sam Cafe while Julia ordered cup corn. They decided to sit at the jetty near Nemach Lakeside. The wind was lovely as it blow from the east to west. the sea breeze was pefect. Without reliasing, Nicholas arm was already around Julia shoulder. Julia was shocked though she didnt show any sign of her 'shockness'.
Soon the night falls. he was lying at her thigh. He enjoyed that moment but wasnt sure if she enjoyed that moment. At that point of time, he thought the feeling was mutual but wasnt really very sure. As they were walking through a tunnel, he whisper something to her but refuse to say it again when she asked him to say it again. She then pinned him to the side of the wall, forcing him to tell her. It was indeed a funny sight. Two grown up behaving like some seven year old kid. Like Trisha had told Julia, he eventually told her that he like her. He's face was so red then. He was blushing. At the other side, she was laughing because she never expect him to say that. She thought he was saying something about her asset but it turned out that she was so wrong. So wrong she was.
He had expect to hear some reply from her but she didnt say a single thing about that sentence he just said. She begun to talk about everything except about what just happened. He thought it was going to be over. A five month relationship is gonna be over! How could that be!
That night, when he went home, he was frowning most of the time. He was despair. He is like a man that had lost almost everything because Julia was almost everything to him (lame). What a waste he told himself. He shouldnt follow what his friend had advice him to do, which was to tell her what he feels.
Love, like rain, can nourish from above, drenching couples with a soaking joy. But sometimes, under the angry heat of life, love dries on the surface and must nourish from felow, tending its roots, keeping it alive. Yes, Nicholas should keep it alive. He didnt want it to end. What a tragic ending it would be.
One March evening, the found themselves walking by the ocean, eating chicken nuggets, their bare feet sinking in the wet sand. They looked around and they realized that they were the youngest people on the beach. That was the most perfect outing they had by far. Julia said something about the bikini bathing suits the old women were wearing and how she would never have the nerve to wear such a thing. Nicholas said that the older women was lucky, because if she did the men would not look at anyone else. Both of them then burst into laughter. The night soon grew older. Both of them need to get home before eleven.
While walking past row of terraces Nicholas kiddingly said that Julia likes every single thing of him. But to his delight, it wasnt a joke anymore. Julia finally told him that she like him. Deep down, Nicholas was screaming for joy but didnt show any reaction. He wants to play it cool. Too cool to be true. TO BE CONTINUED....
Relationship could bond both man and woman like a magnet, but like a magnt, it could repel them, too.
dont give comments to this story. :)
cheer up broken heart.
1987
